|Melbourne city from Eureka 89|
Let’s dive right in like a teenaged boy on a first date.
We left off wondering whether Alice and I would survive our perilous journey across this gigantic country of ours, or become just another notch on the Nullabor’s bedpost. I’m pleased to say that, rather amazingly, two blondes made it safely from Perth to Melbourne, with their lives and friendship still intact. I’m not going to play on stereotypical notions of blonde females (or even the Irish!) being a bit dumb. Quite the contrary – we f**ing nailed it. I am sure you had already concluded that we’d survived by the very fact that I am posting this… Either that or this blog is finally proof that there is indeed life after death.
I have spent the last month settling into Melbourne life. I truly believe that by moving 3,000 kilometres away that I am suddenly far cooler than I was before. If I had travelled 2,999 kilometres then I would still be just as geeky and boring as before, but that extra kilometre really did it for me.
I have mostly been very touched - in a non-sexual way - by the amazing way people rally around and help you settle in when you’re new to a place. I have had to ask for very little as my social calendar has been filled with offers to help me adjust to life here.
I already have a mini network that I’ve been tapping in to. The nicest part is the lovely link to my original hometown of Bristol, so I’ve been catching up with a few old school friends and work friends. Then I have the Victorian contingent of the team I used to work in from WA. I would name them but they are such private people and they hate to be in the limelight – so let’s call them Lauren, Matt and Bridget for code*. They are a bunch of social reprobates and have already initiated me into the Melbourne nightlife and have passed on to me some local secrets.
We read such a lot of negativity about people and how bad human nature is becoming these days, yet I believe that really only represents the 5% of the population that are douche bags. The rest of us are normal people looking out for each other, and I am very grateful to those that are looking out for me.
I have managed to find many a secret bar and this makes me feel even cooler than I did 3,000 kilometres ago. If you have never been to Melbourne you really should. Perth is pretty, Sydney is iconic but Melbourne has soul. For the fifth year running Melbourne has been named the number one place to live in the world. Not that I am bragging (I totally am).
The best and most important thing that has happened so far is that I installed this app called WAPA. For those of you new to lesbian culture, WAPA is an app similar to Tinder only not as gross and for lesbians. In Perth when I switched this app on (technical term) I had eight tiny pictures appear on my screen. In Melbourne I switched this bad boy on – sorry, bad girl – and ended up with wrist strain (…don’t go there!) from the pages and pages of results I had to scroll through. Now I don’t know if this means that Melbourne is a portal to lesbos exactly, but it’s certainly not a bad sign.
To further cement my love of Melbourne, I attended a lesbian night. For research. I know, these are things one has to do for the creative process. You’re welcome. I initially thought I had made a mistake and had walked into a modelling convention – I actually had to check that the sign above the door was right. Lo and behold, I was indeed in the correct place. And therefore this paragraph cements the idea that yes, this blog is coming from beyond the grave because I have died and gone to heaven. HULLOOOOOO MELBOURNE!
*This is actually their real names, they love being centre of attention.
Written by Corina Hawkins, soon to be author of ‘Tattoos of memories’ and creatively bossed by Lindsey Barnett, who is a legend.